Terminal
by Feirdra
Summary: Rem has finally arrived at the terminal station. However, as she waits for the last train, she looks back on her only regret in life: failing her angels. Rem's POV.


**_~Terminal_**

Through the seasons, the bleeding red petals of the geranium have continued to fall, one by one...

_One. For life._

_Two. For childhood._

_Three. For growing up._

_Four. For love._

_Five. For the future._

_Six. For sorrow._

_And seven._

_Seven, always._

_Seven for my angels._

Eight. For the Fall. And after that... well, after that it became irrelevant. Until now. My everlasting geranium isn't so everlasting after all. It made it through rainy days, through days of blinding sunlight, days of scorching heat and bitter winter. And now... now the last petal clings trembling to its calyx, hanging on by a wisp of nothing at all...

It's time to go. To turn my back and leave life be.

I can't do anything more, after all, since it's been a long time since I've been able to count myself among the living.

How strange, to know I've reached the terminal. But I haven't found my ticket here yet, and so I'll sit at the station a little while, and remember.

I haven't seen Alex, and that's what really hurts. But I knew I had to stay.

For my angels.

Now they've sprouted wings, beaten and battered though they are; it's time for them to fly. And I'll stay behind, and watch them go.

Not without tears.

Not without terror.

And not without regrets.

-

Vash is gold. Pure, precious gold.

Soft and malleable, but tougher than it seems it should be.

Melted, mixed with the grittiest, roughest of rocks and the hardest of stones, gold remains gold. Soft beauty, so easy to warm and soften to the touch. I remember him like the feel of the wedding band that once hugged my finger. Together, we forged an eternal circlet of love.

Not to say there weren't rocky times for all our love. Gold is a metal, both beautiful and bitter to the taste. But I'm glad that the only blood spilled was my own...

So warm and full of golden laughter was my Vash. And when it all became too cold, too inhuman, too _mechanical_... his smile reminded me what being human - no - what being _alive_ was.

_"Vash, you're such a baby!"_

My Vash has grown up.

He's grown up strong and good. Gold, even broken into pieces, with the right amount of warmth will melt back together, more beautiful than ever. He's had to rebuild himself over and over, and each time has come out stronger.

I'm so proud of you, Vash.

Yes, my Vash is gold.

-

And Knives.

Of course, my little Knives.

Crystal. Clear, exquisitely beautiful, and pure.

That is, when it's polished. More delicate than glass; it could take a good craftsman a day to chip once. Polished, it is more precious than gold.

But my Knives... somehow he came into this world polished to perfection.

Finished crystal sit so brilliant and unearthly beautiful before us spectators. How I wish I could've been the craftsman who cherished every chip off that particular gem, whose very touch wore away the roughness and knew the slow, old warmth.

Oh, Knives.

Rigid, unchanging.

Until it is shattered.

Shattered crystal rains a thousand shards, and even if it could be put back together, even if you reined in the earth to do your will... it will never be the same again. Sharp shards to cut; paper thin edges broken from the loveliest, most perfect of orbs.

It's funny; Knives is technically the elder of the two. The older brother by perhaps a minute or so. Somehow, though, he's still a child. Black-and-white, no grays; _or_, no _ands_ or _buts_; _the_, no _maybes_. Beauty... no pain.

Vash will always be my baby, but he has grown up.

And Knives... my little boy.

I cry for them. I fear for them. I pray for them.

I hope for them.

And I regret the one lesson I never thought to teach them both.

_"You can go anywhere, Vash.  
Even if you're in darkness now,   
The ticket in your hand is just waiting to be filled in.  
So... So..."_

I love you, my angels. Don't ever forget that. No matter how alone you are... you'll always have me by your side.

_"Don't ever let go!  
Don't say you'll die!   
Let's see all kinds of things together.   
Let's walk together.   
Because people, the world...   
I swear, they're **not** worthless."_

Yes, there is evil. Yes, people hurt each other.

But... as long as we believe we have hearts... someone always will.

Knives. My fallen angel.

-

The petal falls. The train has arrived.

All I can leave are unheard regrets, and my hope.

I apologize for my humanity.

Humans have always valued gold far too much for even gold's good.

I apologize for my failures; the steps I never took, the tears I never kissed away.

I'm sorry. And I love you... I would forfeit every ticket here and ever after for you...

Vash, my golden angel.

And Knives.

My beautiful, shattered Knives.

**_~Owari~_**

*chanting, eyes closed* _Trigun Maximum, Volumes 6 and 7... Trigun Maximum, Volumes 6 and 7..._

Pure emotional piece; it wasn't intended to _be anything_. It just _is_.

*opens one eye* You're still here? Then you wouldn't be too busy leave a review. ^-^

**(An especial acknowledgement to Thunk for her great Trigun fic _Two Plants and a Girl_ which gave inspiration for this in the first place, and kudos to Shadowslash & co. at http : // www. geocities. Com / Tokyo / Ginza / 7551 / tri-mangatrans . html for awesome manga translations and Rem quotes. Ditch the spacing. You'll love this source, all right.)**

Goodbye for Now...


End file.
